My head on your chest, your fingers in my hair;
tell me again of all the places you will go
so I can remind myself I’m not a part of your narrative.
I’m trying to memorize you: place you in the final days –
sleeping in my bed; walking down that hill;
sitting in the pacific waiting to catch a wave.
As we coexist, allow me to be the perfect placeholder,
before the current of our lives pushes us onwards.


… Assuming I was asleep, he kissed my forehead
and it registered how deeply I’m starved of affection;
how he has me without really having me;
how he touches me and we feel nothing.


What’s complicated is when you meet someone in your 20s and you love them, but it’s also full of conflict. You don’t know if you’re supposed to go and look in the great ocean of life or if you’re just supposed to hold onto a connection with someone because connections are few and far in between.” – lena